Thankful

Last year, I spent Thanksgiving day at the beautiful home of the US Ambassador, along with several other Peace Corps Volunteers as well as the marines who guard the embassy. The weekend after was spent at the home of an American family friend—where we held another family style Thanksgiving complete with real turkey, cranberry cocktails, baked brie, and great company. Thus, I cannot help but be depressed that the following year I am spending Thanksgiving alone in my hut. This year, the overachieving ‘I’m leaving in a few months and worried that I haven’t accomplished everything that I set out to’ side of me overpowered the holiday loving side of me, and scheduled 3 big events for the week after Thanksgiving. In honor of World AIDS Day, in the span of one week I will be conducting Gogo Olympics (operating under the theme of living a positive and healthy lifestyle), a Peer Education event in which the girls club will go out into the schools and teach about HIV (having completed 3 weeks of training earlier this month), and a community wide HIV/AIDS awareness and testing event on Saturday December 3rd. Because of the school schedule, Christmas break, and our imminent Close of Service conference, this week was the only logical or possible time that I could do these events, and so I cannot go to celebrate with friends. As excited as I am to see the previous months hard work come to fruition next week, I can’t help but be a bit homesick and lonely today. However, it is this feeling of nostalgia that lead me this morning to contemplate how truly blessed I am to have these people and things to be homesick for in the first place. So although my family is gathered together around my favorite food this year and I cannot be present, I will still be thankful.

I am thankful that even though we are in the midst of summer, today it is overcast and cool, allowing me to feel a little more like I’m at home.

I am thankful for my health, for my financial stability, for my hope that has never been lost, and the ability to allow myself dream so big.

I am thankful that I have an incredibly loving family that has supported me in every way possible over the past 2 years.

I am thankful for my friends, both friends at home and PCVs here, who accept me, love me, challenge me, support me, listen to me, and laugh with me.

I am thankful for the fact that I have had an incredible experience here in South Africa, and that it continues to surprise, challenge, and enlighten me every day.

I am thankful for my host siblings who, when they see me coming home, will run up the road screaming “sesi!” and jump into my arms and kiss me.

I am thankful that the water came on this morning after been off for the past 2 months.

I am thankful for love, for perseverance, and for experiences that cause me to laugh so hard that my stomach hurts and tears come to my eyes.

I am thankful to see the fruits of labor as one Gogo in the support group said yesterday, “Years ago a tsotsi (gangster) killed my son, and since then I have lived in a severe depression. But since I have been with you in this group, my stress has started to go away. I don’t know how to thank you all, it never seems like enough.”

But perhaps most importantly of all, I am thankful that on this day that symbolizes family and togetherness, that I can sit in my hut watching a holiday movie with homemade banana bread and black bean chili, and that I can feel satisfied with that, because here I am also at home.