Camp GLOW: SUCCESS!

After almost a week of 12+ hours of sleep, I finally feel that I’ve regained my strength and my sanity after a camp that was in one word: incredible. Though I feel I will be continuing to process this experience for a long time to come, I wanted to write down everything before I forgot it, as I tend to do.

For those who don’t know, this past week was the culmination of my biggest project as a PCV yet: a girls’ empowerment camp focusing on HIV/Aids, safe and smart sexual decision making, healthy relationships, and self-esteem. The camp was comprised of 15 girls from my village, and 15 from the village of a good friend and fellow PCV named Wendy. Wendy and I taught the majority of the sessions, with help from a few guest speakers and 4 amazing PCV friends who acted as counselors for the girls and also helped us in running a few of our sessions and most of our activities. We definitely could not have had such a wonderful camp without their help, and I am so grateful for them!

We could not have asked for a more beautiful location- situated in between the Blyde River and the Drakensberg mountains, there was breathtaking landscape any direction that you looked. The campsite was called the Blyde River Adventure Center, which specializes in camps for South African youth and gave us a great discount to use their facilities. The camp was conducted entirely in English, and I was so impressed at how all of the girls tried their hardest to speak in English, and we would even hear them speaking English with each other when we weren’t in sessions. It was important for us to do the camp in English, partly because we had girls speaking different African languages present, but mostly because English is critical in South Africa. You cannot have a job without knowing basic English, and learners are taught primarily in English from high school onwards. I’ve seen an incredible improvement in several of the girls from my club in the year we’ve been working together, and enjoyed watching them grow even more over the course of the week.

The camp was a huge success. We were fortunate enough to have our biggest problems be that our travel took longer than anticipated, and that we didn’t have as much food as we would have liked—these girls can EAT! We arrived 2 hours late on the first day and had to scramble to shift our schedule around to accommodate for the poor girls from Wendy’s village who had been waiting 4 hours for us to arrive. We started off by playing a volleyball game called Nuke’Em, and then announced the cabin assignments. Each PCV counselor was in charge of one cabin of 7-8 girls, and we had bandanas in 4 different colors for each cabin, which the girls and their counselor wore the entire week. We did our best to split the girls up from their friends, encouraging them to be more open to meeting the new girls and also being more willing to share seriously without the worry of what their friends might think. This ended up working really well, and I was really impressed and excited with how the girls came together to support each other whether it was helping with English, shyness, swimming in the river, or homesickness. After spending some time getting to know their cabins and make nametags (kids here LOVE arts and crafts), Wendy’s South African counterpart led a session on stereotyping and discrimination, encouraging the girls to accept those who are different than them and to treat each other differently. Given that it was absolutely freezing, everybody was exhausted, and we were still trying to find our groove, after we ate dinner we did a short session on developing the rules of the camp (one being that if you are late to any session you have to do a dance in front of the group), we decided to scrap our 2 planned sessions/activities and just let the girls relax in their cabins and enjoy the camp. It was a good thing we did too, for they needed every bit of energy they had for the fast pace and loads of information that we threw at them for the rest of the week. After the girls “went to bed” (we slept in a different area than the girls, and regardless of our lights out policy we heard reports of girls screaming songs at the top of their lungs until midnight), Wendy, I and the counselors regrouped and planned for the next day.

Our first our first full day of camp started bright and early at 7 AM with morning yoga led by Wendy. Though it was absolutely frigid until the sun really came out, the girls enjoyed practicing headstands and sun salutations on the grass while facing the gorgeous Drakensberg mountains. I think my girls in particular liked having Wendy for a teacher, so they could get a break from me and at the same time realize that other people do yoga too…it’s not only crazy Sbongile.

The sessions on this day were all about the reproductive system and safe sex. Though we did highlight that abstinence is the best contraception- it is clear by the high rates of teenage pregnancy (girls are getting pregnant and having children as young as age 13), and conversations that I have had with several of the girls prior to camp, that girls are in large numbers are already sexually active and do not have the proper information on keeping themselves safe. We emphasized that we weren’t encouraging them to have sex, but that it was necessary they have this information for whenever they did decide it was time. So to start off our day we had them do Body Mapping- where they divided into groups and drew the reproductive parts of the male and female body, labeled them, and then presented their information to the group. I was happy to see that most of them actually placed the labels in the correct places, and knew for the most part the function of each part. After that we had a guest speaker, Patience, who is a nurse at a hospital nearby the campsite. She was absolutely amazing and the girls loved her. It was very helpful to have an expert on the topic come and talk so that we ensured the girls had all of the correct information and correct answers to their VERY detailed questions. Though they were able to label the reproductive parts almost perfectly, I was struck by how many questions they had, and how basic many of them were. This proved to me that most of these girls did not have a big grasp on what is happening inside of their bodies. After Patience explained the functions of all of the reproductive parts of the male and female bodies, she did a session on contraception and safe sex. She went into detail about the different kinds of contraception available, emphasizing that due to the availability and negligible cost of contraception even in the village, pregnancy should not be an issue for any of these girls. Along with the girls, Patience did demonstrations of the male and female condoms. The girls were engaged and participating the whole time, and if they weren’t interested in the information they had a great time blowing the condoms up into balloons.

We finished up the session with a Question and Answer time, where the girls could ask anything they wanted. We had them write down their questions because we knew that it would be hard for some girls to ask in front of the group. Some of the questions that really surprised me were myths that are more popular around the community than I realized; these myths range from strange cocktails to terminate pregnancies to notions of if you cheat on your boyfriend by sleeping with another man you will both get very sick). We were very open with the girls, encouraging them to use the proper words and not to giggle when doing so. As I’ve mentioned before, the African languages don’t even have vocabulary words for our reproductive parts, which testifies to the willingness of the older generations to discuss it with their children. This leaves youth having no idea that you get pregnant by having unprotected sex, and using words like cake and stick to refer to the vagina and penis. We finished off those sessions by noting again that we weren’t encouraging the girls to be sexually active in any way, but that we thought it was necessary that they be prepared with the proper information and where they should go to receive it for whenever the time comes.

A definite highlight of the camp was watching the girls perform short dramas/skits about the various topics we were discussing. For this day we did a session on peer pressure, asking the girls their thoughts on the issue and emphasizing that though it would be hard, they don’t always have to let their friends influence them into things that they aren’t ready for. To have them practice saying no, we divided them into 6 groups and gave each a scenario somehow related to saying no to peer pressure (drugs, alcohol, sex, etc). The girls were phenomenal in these skits, and we could tell that they really loved performing as well. It was also a great way to involve the girls who were less likely to participate in the larger group sessions. The girls were all wonderful actresses and each of the dramas were funny and entertaining yet showed strong understanding of the issue and the groups’ forcefulness in saying no. The girls would feed off of the positive reaction and laughter from the audience and the dramas tended to last longer than they should of, but we enjoyed giving the girls an opportunity to showcase their talents and have fun while learning. We ended by reminding the girls that while it may be fun and easy to say no in a pretend drama in front of all of their friends, it is almost never that easy in real life. Sometimes you lose your friends, sometimes everybody at school gossips about you, but what is most important is that you are true to yourself.

My favorite part of the day was the initiation ceremony that we did to induct the girls officially as GLOW Girls. We originally planned to have this as our first session (which definitely would have been more dramatic), but due to our late arrival we had to push it back to the second day. The ceremony had 3 parts, each of which symbolized something different. We gave the girls a charm necklace, and with every step that they completed they got a new charm. To begin, we sat together in a circle on the grass and I gave a short speech on sisterhood and why it is important that as women we love and support each other. Wendy, the counselors, and our counterparts then stood up one at a time to say what sisterhood meant to them. This was followed by most of the girls then standing up at different times to say how they viewed sisterhood. For this part we gave the girls a charm of a hand, which symbolized supporting your sisters whenever they need a helping hand. The second part of the ceremony was the most fun (and terrifying) for most of the girls. The camp has a tightrope that stretches across the length of the river, and the girls had to cross it while holding onto a similar tightrope above their heads. Most of these girls have never swam in water before, much less something that is not a swimming pool. Most of the girls tried the rope, and many were successful at crossing, but we had a few who were so scared that they were brought to tears, and some who didn’t refused to try. For this step we gave them a charm of a heart, representing fun and scary experiences shared with friends. Finally, we had a more serious part in which, back at camp, we stood in a circle and each girl went around and said something that she was excited about for camp, and something that she was nervous for. After a girl spoke we would light her candle, until everyone had theirs lit and we joined together to sing a song. We emphasized their willingness to keep an open-mind throughout the camp, to try new things and to be open to learning new information regardless of their excitements or fears. For this session we gave each girl a charm of an AIDS ribbon, which symbolized their commitment to learning this week and supporting each other in their successes and failures. We encouraged them to think about the things they learned and experienced at camp every time they looked at or wore their necklaces. This initiation ceremony was a special time designed for us to be honest with each other, and to expose our vulnerabilities so that we could all see that we weren’t so different from each other after all.

We finished off this long and exciting day by showing the movie, Stomp the Yard. There was no real ethical value or lesson to be taught through this movie, but we thought it would be fun for the girls to watch—since not everybody is as fluent in English, often times youth will watch movies and have no idea what is happening. This movie was mostly dancing, so the girls were able to follow it and most of them loved it.

The next day was my favorite. I think this was because it was the smoothest—we had finally gotten used to the logistics and timing, as well as what the girls were and were not receptive to; we had found our rhythm. Due to the cold we substituted yoga for kickboxing, which was a huge hit and a lot of fun. Wendy led the girls in about 45 minutes of basic cardio kickboxing, punching and kicking and squatting and making them beg to stop because they were so tired. It was a great way to wake up and beat the cold.

The theme of this day was relationships, and our morning session for this day was led by Wendy and aimed to help the girls identify healthy and unhealthy relationships, then further understand what they deserve in a relationship. We did dramas/skits with them again, allowing them to visualize different forms of healthy/unhealthy relationships. Though these were more personal, the girls again did a great job of acting out appropriate responses to different obstacles that they may face while in romantic relationships. In a society that is most often dominated by men, girls and women often grow up believing that an abusive relationship is acceptable, normal, or the best that they can get. We hoped that by acting out different scenarios, the girls would get practice at saying “I deserve better”, as well as feeling outraged while watching injustices done to their friends. I wasn’t completely sure that they were following, but at lunchtime we were playing different music, and the popular Rihanna/Eminem song “Love the Way You Lie” came on. One girl looked at a counselor and said, “Isn’t this an example of an unhealthy relationship?” Yes! I was so happy to hear her say that, because I often am shocked by the music the kids are listening to and don’t seem to have any concern for what the lyrics are actually saying (do I sound like a mom yet?).

Every day we gave them an hour to do journaling. We bought them each journals, knowing that this wouldn’t be something that most of them already owned. We had them decorate the journals on the first night so that they might seem a little more appealing. Each day we provided them with journal topics that could help to direct them if they needed it. As an avid journal writer, I was ecstatic to see how well some of the girls took to it. We all need some alone time during the day, to process what we are thinking, experiencing, feeling. These girls are experiencing a lot of emotions and changes, and I often feel like they have so much to say but no one to say it to. Community members can’t be trusted, friends will mock them, counseling is non-existent in most of the villages, and as I mentioned before talking about personal issues with parents is not often done. I really hope that they will continue to journal after camp; the one private and confidential experience they can have in a small and crowded home and village.

After lunch we had a session on domestic violence. In this session we broke up into small groups lead by the counselors, knowing that the girls would be less likely to talk and share about this topic when in a large group. The unfortunate reality is that many of these girls have been victim to assault and not known what their rights were in that situation. We discussed with them the meaning of consent, and the different forms of domestic violence, wanting them to understand that abuse is not only physical. We taught them some basic self-defense moves, and talked about the realities of rape, and what their options were if they found themselves in that situation. We encouraged them to tell their stories to someone they trust, or to write it in their journals if they couldn’t find that person, for being able to talk about a painful or traumatic experience is one of the first steps in moving from a victim to a survivor. Several of the girls shared their stories to us throughout the week, and I was astounded and inspired by their bravery.

In the afternoon they were given free time, and the girls mostly used it to go swimming again. Those who had made it across the rope the day before didn’t actually get a chance to swim, so they capitalized on this opportunity. Now when I say swim, for the majority of them I mean wading in knee deep (and freezing cold) water screaming about how scared they were. Only a few of the girls braved the small rapid that carried them about 50 feet down the river. They were so much fun to watch and I was proud of many of the girls who I knew were scared for facing their fears and getting in the water. Other girls spent the time dancing or doing arts and crafts.

In the evening we continued with our sessions, and I led one in delaying sex/pregnancy and decision making. We talked about some questions to contemplate to help yourself realize if you are ready to be sexually active, and strategies that one can use to delay until we are, as well as options for pregnancy. My South African counterpart talked about how she had a baby at age 16, and how it changed her life. When reading the evaluations we had the girls fill out at the end of camp, I came across one comment in which a girl wrote, “This camp helped me to realize I can reach my goals but I have to work for them. I thought I would lose my virginity at age 14 but now I have decided to wait until I finish school.” This is HUGE!

One of my favorite sessions was the last of the evening, in which we had 2 guest speakers. One was a mid-20s South African male, and the other was a mid-20s Peace Corps Volunteer. They spent some time talking about what it is like to be a 15 year old boy—what they are experiencing, what they are feeling, and what they are really thinking about. I essentially wanted the girls to realize that 15 year old boys and girls are on very different pages. After they said their pieces, the girls we able to ask them questions. The first one was “Why do men leave their families to go off and start new ones?” followed up by “Why do men cheat? Am I not satisfying you?” The girls asked some pretty challenging questions, and I think they got some great answers. When asked what they learned that was most valuable, one girl responded “A guy will say almost anything to me in order to get me to sleep with him!”

The day ended with a teambuilding activity where the girls were blindfolded and had to help each other cross an obstacle course while holding onto a rope. After we built a campfire, and the girls spent hours singing traditional songs and dancing around the fire. It was a beautiful experience and one that I will never forget. We just let them be, not wanting to interfere by suggesting one song or dance. So we sat up above and just watched them have an amazing time. They then started singing songs and would call out our names, requesting us to do a special dance. This counselor dancing went on for much longer than it should have, but I was particularly proud of my Zulu kick.

The girls “went to bed” exhausted and happy, and I really enjoyed being able to blend cultural South African life with experiences of mine from home.

The theme of the next day was Self-Esteem. We started off the morning with a session led by my counterpart in which the girls spent time writing positive and encouraging affirmations to each other on papers fastened to their backs. The girls then went around in a circle and were given the chance to read some of the nice things that people said. The girls loved doing this, and it was a great opportunity to build each other up as I often hear people saying only negative things to each other in the village. We led the girls in a discussion about the activity, and when I asked what they thought about it, one of my girls responded “I was scared that people would write mean things because I know I can be very strict, but I was really excited to see the nice things that people wrote”. Each of the girls present at camp was amazing for so many different reasons, and we wanted to help them realize that. Self-esteem is something that we all struggle with, and I believe having confidence in yourself can allow you to achieve your goals and accomplish things without letting negative comments or opinions get in the way.

After journaling and lunch we took the girls on a long hike alongside the river (where we spotted a hippo!) and through the mountains. My main reason for wanting to take the girls all the way to Limpopo (a 6 hour drive) was so that they could experience the feeling of accomplishment after hiking a mountain. We have hills in our area, but nothing close to mountains, and I know that most of the girls won’t end up traveling very far from home in their lives. The mountains were absolutely beautiful, and though I think we may have overestimated their stamina and hiking desire/ability, it was a fun experience in which we were able to see a lot of different animals and beautiful sites.

The evening session was about community service—something that is so crucial to helping the development of these villages but that I do not see emphasized in any form. Many people that I have come across refuse to do any work for the community without monetary compensation, or others don’t feel like they have the resources or information to help their community. We discussed the definition and necessity of community service, and then allowed the girls to come up with project plans for different community projects. We will be selecting the best idea and will be providing a small amount of money to help the girls realize this project idea over the next 6 months. Some of the ideas were community clean-up/trashcans, providing school uniforms for the orphans, and educating the younger learners in lifeskills. I look forward to working with them over the remainder of my time here to make these ideas a reality.

An experience that I will always remember is what we did later that night around the campfire. We called it an “I Can’t Funeral”, and motivated the girls to write down things that others or themselves have said that they cannot do. We talked about the importance of believing in ourselves, in not letting others take our joy from us, and of knowing that if we try hard enough we can do anything. The girls wrote down the things that people have said they cannot do, and some shared, and then we threw them into the fire to signify the complete removal of those negative oppressions in our lives. Several of the girls had filled up both sides of the paper with things that people have told them they can’t do. We then went around the circle, again with candles, and each said something that we CAN do. Among the responses were “I can finish school without having a baby”, “I can fix the problems in my life”, “I can choose my future”, and “People tell me that I don’t deserve a husband because I’m ugly, but I know that it is what is inside that is important”. This quickly became very emotional, and several of the girls were brought to tears when thinking about the struggles in their lives, but lifted by their feelings of empowerment by discarding the I Can’ts and focusing on the I Cans. I am time and again motivated and inspired by the strength and perseverance of these girls. Most of these girls have struggled through lives more discouraging than I will ever know, and still get up each day to try and achieve their goals. I was brought to tears as well upon hearing the ‘I Can’s’ from some of my girls who I know have been having a difficult time at home. We spent the rest of the night roasting marshmellows over the fire and teaching the girls how to make S’mores.

Our final full day of camp was bittersweet. We were in the full swing of things and having an incredible experience filled with knowledge, laughter, love, and strength, yet we had all begun to realize that camp was almost at its end. Despite the fact that many of us leaders were losing our voices or couldn’t fathom jumping up and down in excitement during yet another icebreaker, our energy level increased exponentially through the excitement of the girls.

The theme of our last day was HIV/Aids. If I could do it again, I probably would have done this day earlier in the week, as by the last day the girls’ heads were so full of information that they seemed to be a little sessioned-out. But as we talked about the origins of HIV and Aids, modes of transmissions, risky and non-risky behaviors, and myths/facts of HIV/Aids, I could tell the girls were just as interested as the other days. We lead them through a few exercises to try and really make them understand what it would feel like to be living with HIV. Again, we had them do scenarios that depicted what it might be like to go and test for HIV and get a negative result or a positive result, how someone can live a healthy life with HIV, and the realities of disclosing one’s status to family and friends. Though these were more somber than the others, the girls had great ideas and I was impressed with the ideas that they came up with. Our main goal in these activities was to get the girls thinking in new ways about HIV/Aids. There are endless government campaigns, lessons in schools, and NGO outreaches that aim to teach youth in South Africa about HIV and Aids. However what I’ve come to see in my time here is that everyone knows the answers to the questions (What does HIV stand for, how is it passed on, etc), yet nobody’s behavior is changing. South Africa is still one of the countries with the highest HIV rates and I have witnessed it first hand destroying the lives of citizens and the local and global level. So we were hoping to get the girls to understand the realities of living with HIV and how they can care for and support those who are, instead of feeding them the same information that they already seemed to know. We have the information, now we need behavior change.

We had 3 guests this day from a local NGO. One was a man who motivated the girls to test for HIV, talked about living a positive and healthy life with HIV, and then opened up for a question and answer session. The other two were lay counselors who agreed to stay for the remainder of the day and test the girls for HIV whenever they wanted to come in. I was ecstatic to see 20 of the 30 girls go and test. Though the results are supposed to be confidential, the counselors told us at the end of the day that all of the girls had tested negative. We were overjoyed, and happy to give the girls an opportunity outside of the confines of the village to realize what it is like to go and test, and to realize that it really isn’t that scary.

We ended camp with a bang- a talent show and dance party. The girls spent the afternoon getting ‘camp portraits’ (one of our counselors is a wonderful photographer), decorating their camp t-shirts, and preparing for the talent show. Though we were absolutely exhausted by this point, the talent show was a huge hit. To ensure that everybody was included, we required that each cabin had to come up with an entry. Not to anyone’s surprise, they all chose to do a dance to the same popular house (techno-esque) song. To be funny, we (the counselors) all did a traditional Zulu dance, and then put on the same house song and mimicked their dance moves. The girls loved it.

The rest of the show displayed more dances, songs, skits, and my personal favorite- poetry readings of beautiful poems that some of the girls had written while at camp. These poems were about changing the world, disparities between the rich and poor, and an inspiration for the girls to not give up on their goals and dreams. Watching the girls perform was amazing to me. They are all SO talented in more ways than one. I loved watching their faces light up as they performed. Most of these high schools do not have clubs, and certainly do not have opportunities for the youth to compete against each other, so it was a great chance to have the girls display their talents for each other. We chose a first and second place winner for each category (cabin, individual, and group), and gave them some fun prizes we had picked up in town.

The night ended with a dance party, signing our names on the camp t-shirts, and taking tons of pictures to make sure we always remembered the week. One of the most gratifying moments for me, was at the very end of the night when two girls (one from each of our villages) sang Wendy and I a song about their lives having been changed, and then gave a short speech of thanks and appreciation for the week. Then all of the girls joined in a song a dance to say thank you, and each came up to us in a line to shake our hands and hug us, telling us how much they loved us and how thankful they are. Yes, it made me cry!

The last morning of camp was spent de-briefing the week, filling out evaluation forms, and watching the slideshow that one of our counselors made for the girls of the week. They loved seeing their faces pop up on the projector screen and screamed out every time they saw themselves. We had the girls write a letter to themselves about what they had learned this week, what they were thinking and feeling, how they had changed, and what they wanted for their futures. We plan to give these back to the girls in 6 months or so, so that they can remember the experience but also so that they can hold themselves accountable to what they were dreaming while at camp. It is so easy to say and do certain things while you are away from home, with the safety of friends, and not subject to the normal stressors and pressures of daily life. We gave our closing comments, stating that what Wendy and I want more than anything is for this to be an experience that they remember forever; we want them to take the knowledge and fun they had this week and apply it to their lives when they return home. I told them that since we were so far away from home, they had become my family and I was grateful for each one of them. Yes, I teared up again. We all said our goodbyes and my group was on the road home by 10 a.m. so that we could get home before dark. 6 hours of blasting house music and screaming girls later, we arrived back in the village and I said goodbye to the girls and goodbye to an incredible experience.

I never want to forget the way that I’m feeling now, right after camp and as I write this. This was the first time that I really felt fully justified in my time here; I can now go home knowing that I made a significant impact and difference in the lives of many. I never want to forget the love and joy that I experienced this week. I never want to forget the bonds and friendships that I have made with the girls over the past year, that culminated in the emotional experience of this week. I am so grateful for this Peace Corps experience, for these inspiring girls, and for the chance to hold this amazing camp that will forever be a part of my life.

Please click here to see pictures that can do better justice to the week than my words. Thank you for all of your love and support. You helped change the lives of these girls!