Victoria Falls

I think that the understatement of the year would be to tell you that South Africa loves Easter. I love Easter too, but they looooooove Easter. So much, that we get practically 3 days of extra holidays, and the entire country shuts down. Thursday, let’s call it Good Friday eve, becomes a half day, meaning organizations and schools either close or work until about 10 a.m. (after opening at 9:30 a.m.), and then decide to close. Nothing can or will be done until next week Tuesday. Good Friday is a holiday, then the Monday after Easter is “family day” (no I don’t know what that means). The timing of Easter this year was extremely convenient (thanks sun or orbit of the moon or whatever it is that dictates the date of Easter) and happened to collide with an array of other holidays such as: well I don’t actually no what they are but NO WORK! Most organizations and schools were closed from Thursday April 21 (Good Friday eve) until Tuesday, May 2nd. Even though I had just been gone for almost two weeks due to MST and the Health Symposium (see below posts), everybody else leaves the village for Easter and I always do what everybody else does, so..vacation!!
Three friends and I decided to fly to Zambia to see one of the 7 natural wonders of the world (yes I googled it to make sure my bragging is justified), Victoria Falls. The falls are absolutely enormous and beautiful, and at this time of year are so mighty and full of water that at many angles you can only see the mist from the falls. After entering the park, there are 3 different trails that you can take, one leads pretty much under the waterfalls (I’ve heard you can do this in Niagra falls, but I’ve never been so don’t take my word for it) and you get absolutely soaked to the bone. It is pretty awesome, and..free shower. Another leads you on a walk along the outside, where you can see the falls from several different angles, and much farther away so you can get a better idea of how big and expansive they are. Our favorite was the hike down to what is called the “Boiling Point” where the water creates whirlpools and you can see the path of the water through a beautiful gorge after it falls off of the cliffs. Unfortunately the water was too high at this time of year to do white water rafting (but, been there done that) or what is called the Devils Pool. My sources say that Devil’s Pool is literally a group of pools on the top/edge of the falls, that are surrounded by rocks and you can swim or hang out with them. Meaning you are mere feet from going over the edge of the falls. Awesome! Sadly we were prohibited from being so extreme so we had to settle on watching the bunjee jumpers off of the bridge that connects Zambia and Zimbabwe. For the record, cynics, I would have jumped but it cost $150.
Other highlights included safaris and game drives (baby elephants are the CUTEST), a sunset cruise along the Zambezi river, and my personal favourite...pretending to be rich. In true PC fashion, we only make enough money to stay at backpackers (hostels), in some of which you may or may not encounter bed bugs or really drunk fat guys sleeping in the bed above you. I like backpackers, but you never know what you’re going to get. Which is why you must learn to hotel crash! Hotel crashing is the best. All you do is put on your nicest outfit, take a taxi to the nicest 5 star resort along the Zambezi river, and walk in like you own the place. If someone gives you a questioning look, you take out your cell phone and pretend to call your mom and tell her that you’ve arrived at their hotel. Then you walk over to the pool and lay out for the next 6 hours. Now it’s not absurd for people who don’t stay at hotels to go and have a meal or drink, and I’m not without a moral compass, which is why I believe in order to ethically hotel crash you must order food and/or drinks by the pool. That way you are contributing to their economy and if you get caught then you can say, “Oh I’m sorry I didn’t realize I wasn’t allowed to drink this cocktail in my bathing suit while inside of the pool. That’s for residents only?”
Other No-No’s while hotel crashing:
• do not talk about living in your village so loud that the evil lady next to you realizes that you are not actually staying here and tells your friend that the chair next to her is occupied, when you know full well that it is not.
• when the waiter asks if you are staying at the hotel, do not say no. say instead, oh we’re staying at the sister hotel next door. or the before mentioned, my parents are staying here.
• do not under any circumstances, freak out when you realize that the Margarita you just drank cost you $16. if you could really afford to stay there, cost wouldn’t matter.
All in all, Victoria Falls was great. We are still trying to figure out the best time of the year to go. Friends have gone when the water was too low that you can barely even see anything coming over the falls. We went when it was so high you can’t defeat death by swimming in a pool of rocks at the edge of a cliff. You must choose your own fate.