Back to the Beginning

Where to begin…after a month of hanging out and waiting to see if organizational issues got resolved (they didn’t) it was decided that there was no way that I could work in my current Home Based Care and that my site would be changed. I couldn’t go to work at this organization for so many reasons, so it was a tough month of hanging out by myself, reading books and watching movies, and waiting for my host sister to get out of school so I could pressure her to hang out with me. Even though I know that this experience is primarily about the community and the development that I can be a part of at the very grassroots level, but during those 2 months our site placements were SO built up and we were all so excited to get started and see what kind of work we would be doing, and it was really discouraging to have none of it work out for me. We all love to have a tangible reason for being where we are and something to feel warm and fuzzy about.

After much deliberation they chose to move me back to the village that I was in for the first 2 months of training. Yes, I packed up and moved out of the house just to move right back in a month later. There is a small Home Based Care that operates in my village, and I definitely have my work cut out for me. I see a lot of potential, but also a lot of challenges that will come with working for an organization with no funding, structure, or apparent direction, but I sense commitment from the volunteers and a desire to go forward. In theory, a Home Based Care is established to address the pandemic of HIV/Aids and other opportunistic infections (like TB) by doing home visits throughout the community and determining those who are sick and in need of help. If people are living alone, they offer palliative care and help with cooking, cleaning, and other various tasks. If people are too sick to get to the clinic, they will bring them there, or bring the medication to them. Some also do prevention education by campaigns or giving health talks at the clinics while people wait to see the nurses. I only had my first day today, so I can’t make assumptions, but I’m not exactly sure which, if any, of the above my organization actually does. I saw this at my last organization and have heard this observation across the board from other volunteers, but nobody ever seems to leave the organization. When I ask when they go out to the homes to visit, they respond, oh we’re going later or oh we go tomorrow. But tomorrow never seems to come. There is an understandable lack of motivation to do such difficult work for no monetary compensation, but something has to change, because while employees sit and chat and have tea and cakes, people are getting sicker.

I had my period of sulking and moping that I wasn’t placed somewhere with more direction and motivation or any seeming desire to do the work I was so excited about doing, but that’s behind me now. I’m back in my old home but I’m ready for a new, fresh start and I have a different perspective about how I will approach the next few months. I know it’s going to be hard but I never thought it would be easy. My village is close to the village that I just came from, so I can maintain the contacts and friendships that I spent the last month making, and I don’t have to feel like it was a total waste. I’ve made a good friend who seems to have similar interests to me, she is my age and studies music at a university in Pretoria, working on projects for orphans in the community, and says she tries to motivate the youth in the community to set goals and follow their dreams even if they aren’t to be the typical Tourism employee or Traffic cop. She has been really kind to me and has helped me out a lot this month, so I hope to be able to stay in contact with her.

I am also excited to be back with my 10 year old friends who go running or walking with me, and I think that the village will be receptive to different projects that I try to start up because they know me, Peace Corps, and we all (or most of us) had a great mutual cohesion within the community. During training PC had us do a community project to practice and to see what challenges we would have in doing such. We put on a Fun Run/Walk or race one Sunday morning and raised money for the Home Based Care organization that I am working at now. It went a lot better than we thought it would, and set a good precedent (unintentionally) for similar projects that I will try to do in the future. The organization told me today that with the money we raised they bought shoes and food parcels for the 54 orphans that live in the community. They are giving them out on Thursday…so if all goes according to plan that will be exciting to see and will make my training group excited to see some tangible results from all of the work that we put in to making the race go smoothly.

It’s always nice to be on the upswing of a low point…I’ve learned a lot during this period and I think in a way maybe it’s better that I hit this point in the beginning and can start fresh while it’s still early. I got my first dose of what we were taught almost every day in training—things will NEVER go as you plan, or as you want them too. I have never heard the words ‘be flexible’ more in my life, but that is exactly what I find myself having to do as I try to get past my own expectations (which I didn’t even think I had) and figure out how I will make the situation work. I’ve had a lot of great support and I am ready to FINALLY get going on something and get the wheels in motion. My baby host brother learned to walk in the month I was away, however absence did NOT make the heart of the 4 year old brother grow fonder…he still seems to have it out for me for reasons unbeknown to me.

Mail can still be sent to the Pretoria address until I’m able to open my own PO Box here in town.

Miss you all like crazy!